I am Bona. My mother always said that I am special to everyone. Like today, we meet with one mother in the market. She looked at me weird.
“Who is he?” She asked my mother.
“He is Bona, my little son.” My mother answered.
“What happened with him?” She is frowned.
“Nothing happened, he just special.”
I don’t know what the meaning of special is. Once, I have asked to my sister, but she only smiled and hug me.
At school, I see all of my friends have a strange face, like me. I was heard from people who were talking about me. They said something about a child who has strange face like me. I don’t know what is handsome or pretty. For me everything is same.
“Mom, if I’m not handsome, could the Lord hear my prayers?” I asked to my mother.
“Sure. God belongs to everyone. HE loves every child. HE will hear every prayer from who believe in HIM.” My mother explained but I don’t understand. I only know that I can talk with God.
One day, I felt sick. My mother was freaking out. She brought me to the doctor. She cried and hug me. She talked with the doctor, I don’t understand. I wonder why I always don’t understand what they were talking about. Once, my sister was learning English, and then I know that in this world has so many languages. But, why they don’t understand me? Why they don’t want to learn my language?
Autism. I heard from the doctor.
“Mom, what is autism?”
My mother was crying harder. Why my mother always cries? I miss her smile when she looks at me. Maybe I’m naughty or I’m not handsome and have a strange face.
“Autism is special. You’re special for everyone, Kid.” The doctor said and smiled. I smiled but my mother still cried.
So, every night I always pray to God:
Please give a smile to my mother. Thank you. Amen.
This morning, a man has a sit next to me. He is very kind and friendly. He is not like another. He sees me like I am normal.
“What’s your name?” He asked me.
“How old are you?”
I show all of my fingers. I forget about number. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten…then…what?
“After ten.” Finally I answered. He is laughing and shows his two thumbs.
“You are e-le-ven years old.” He teaches me to correct answer.
“E-le-ven.” I repeat.
His name is Raymundus and I called him Undus. Although I mean “brother Raymundus” but I just can say “Undus”. I don’t know why. My mother likes him because Undus love me.
When my birthday, Undus give me piano and portable DVD to watch tutorial learning piano. He said that I should learn how to play piano every day.
“Music can bring you to peace place. God will hear your voice. Give HIM the best song that you can play. Give thanks that you’re special, having good family, having worth time and so many people love you.” Undus said.
But..why…I don’t understand what is autism. I don’t understand why many people looks at me weird. I don’t understand why I can't speak clearly.
I want to say like that but I just can said:
“I love you Undus.”
Now, I am sixteen years old. I attended Undus’s wedding and play a song for him. A few days ago he asked me a gift for his wedding.
“Please come to church and play Canon in D. It’s my favorite. I will waiting you there.”
Here I am, playing this song for Undus. I also see my mother sitting in the second row. She smiles to me. She said that proud of me because now I become famous pianist. I proud of God, because answered my prayer. HE makes my mother always smile and happy. I don’t care who I am and what I can do.
Thanks for being my Lord.
Although, I never understand about people who around me. Although I just have few vocabulary and make they don’t understand what I means. But thank you.
Thanks for music in this world that be new language for me. I know language is not only words that I can say.
Even I can’t speak clearly but thanks I can talk with YOU.
Thanks for make my mother’s smile.
Thanks for Undus.
Thanks for making me special.
“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose." 1 Corinthians 12:18
(written : 9/1/2013)